Twilight My Way

Team

Edward 

Team

Jacob

Team

B. Swan

or

Team

Edward

Team

Jacob

Team

B. Swan

RIP Geraldine Ferraro

Geraldine Ferraro is the main reason I became interested in politics. When I was 9, I really didn't care who Walter Mondale was but I wanted him to become president so Geraldine Ferraro could become the first female vice president.  I am sad that she didn't live to see a woman running on the National ticket win, I hope I do.

From Wikipedia -" President Obama said upon her passing that "Geraldine will forever be remembered as a trailblazer who broke down barriers for women, and Americans of all backgrounds and walks of life," and said that his own two daughters would grow up in a more equal country because of what Ferraro had done.^[187] Mondale called her "a remarkable woman and a dear human being ... She was a pioneer in our country for justice for women and a more open society. She broke a lot of molds and it's a better country for what she did."^[1] George H. W. Bush said, "Though we were one-time political opponents, I am happy to say Gerry and I became friends in time – a friendship marked by respect and affection. I admired Gerry in many ways, not the least of which was the dignified and principled manner she blazed new trails for women in politics."^[187] Palin paid tribute to her on Facebook, saying, "She broke one huge barrier and then went on to break many more. May her example of hard work and dedication to America continue to inspire all women."^[1] Bill and Hillary Clinton said in a statement that, "Gerry Ferraro was one of a kind – tough, brilliant, and never afraid to speak her mind or stand up for what she believed in – a New York icon and a true American original."^[186]"

I hope you give yourself food poisoning

Maybe you could cook yourself a new heart


click above to read a dlisted.com post about Ina Garten Heartless Bitch.

Dear Ina,


Put on some freakin' shoes and go visit the kid.  "So busy, You can't honor every request blah blah blah"  This is a sick little boy.  How many of these types of requests do you get?  It's not Billy Joel asking you to cater a party or SJP wanting free cooking lessons. Please lady, you are not too busy.  Even Jeffrey is ashamed of you.


I for one will never be watching your uppity "I live in the Hamptons and every thing I cook is so perfect and I could make this tart with my head up my ass" Food Network, show you Martha Stewart wannabe. Martha is very busy. We all know how much time she spends in front of the mirror practicing the  smile she uses on her television guests.  The smile that says "Oh you sweet simpleton, nice try, now give me that whisk before someone gets hurt."  However, Martha Stewart takes time out of her TV show, radio show, magazine, many many books etc. etc. to make a kid's wish come true.  Therefore you will always be a wannabe.


This is why I let my children watch Star Wars.  Mark Hamill and Samuel L. Jackson honor the wishes of children.  Of course it makes sense.  Every one knows Samuel L. Jackson is a Bad Mother Fucker!

Update - Good News.  I just read that Iron Chef America hottie Michael Symon and fellow Food Network chef Beau MacMillian would like to meet and cook with Enzo.  Dig it!

Update Part 2 - Ina claims her "people' din't tell her about Enzo but now that she knows she will gladly invite him to cook with her.  If I was Enzo I would tell her to shove her rolling pin where the sun don't shine.  But, Enzo seem like a nice little boy so he might just say No Thank You. 

Eat it Tina!

On Saturday my Cooking Club had a Vietnamese themed dinner.  It was fabulous!  Tonight for diner  I am making the main dish we ate - Chicken Curry with Sweet Potatoes.  Yum Skittley Do!

Now will the boys eat it???

If you are (epi)curious - Here is the recipe
Chicken Curry

Some People Are Just Made For Each Other

Heart and Sole

I love shoes.  They are my favorite accessory.  However in Mommywood it's difficult and often impractical to wear the shoes I really like.  I dream of a future when all of my children are in school, I am back to work and shoe wardrobe improves.  But maybe I should just wear impractical shoes now anyway?  They say everything goes with jeans right? Then again trudging through mud and creeks and such in 4 inch heels doesn't seem wise, nor does running after a crazy fast toddler.  Boo Hoo.

Here are some great future shoes

Compare to the boring shit I wear now

In the mean time a list of songs about shoes -

New Shoes - Paolo Nutini 

click here to listen

Angles want to wear my shoes - Elvis Costello

Sailing Shoes - Robert Palmer

Click here to listen

Blue Suede Shoes - Elvis

These Boots were made for Walkin' - Nancy Sinatra

Old Brown Shoe - The Beatles

Diamonds on the Soles of her Shoes - Paul Simon

click here to listen

Boogie Shoes - KC and the Sunshine Band

Fairies Wear Boots - Black Sabbath

Those Shoes - The Eagles

Hi-heel Sneakers - Jose Feliciano version

click here to listen

Goody Two Shoes - Adam Ant

My Adidas - Run DMC 

Tequila - Okay this isn't about shoes but Pee Wee Herman does his famous Pink Shoe Dance to this song

click here to watch Pee Wee

I lived in a cave and only had black and white TV

My First Born (FB) loves to tease me about my age.  Once he learned that a women's age matters to her he thinks it is funny to push my buttons.  He likes to say thinks like "Wow Mom, you are practically 40"  (I am only 36) or "Mom, what was it like back in the 50s?" (From all the Happy Day's and Grease I've watched it seems nice) 

So the interaction I had yesterday with FB and his brother Monkey in the Middle (MM) seems even funnier.  We were going to Target to look for a Birthday gift to give to one of MM's friends.  FB joked and said that he would probably like a Barbie doll.  I mentioned that I just read that it was Barbie's Birthday a few days ago.

MM:  Barbie has a Birthday?

Me: Yes, I think the day the toy debuted is considered her Birthday.  Barbie is over 50 now.

FB:  Wow, she looks great for 50!

RIP Frank Buckles

Frank Buckles, last known U.S. World War I veteran, is laid to rest at Arlington

Washington Post Story - click here

DIY Music Lovers

Here are some  Irish bands and musicians.   Make your own mix tape.  Oh, it's 2011.  Burn your own CD

Van Morrison
Into the Mystic    (play this at my funeral)

Elvis Costello
Watching The Detectives

The Pogues

(Pre 1993) U2

Thin Lizzy (not my bag but first famous hard rockers from Ireland)

Rodrigo Y Gabriela (yes they are from Mexico but the now call Dublin home and they kick ass!)
Diablo Rojo

I want to go to there - St. Patrick's Day addition

If you have 12 weeks and an extra 10,000+ pounds ($16,200 US) laying around why not go the Ballymaloe Cookery School  located on an 100 acre organic farm in the South of Ireland.  Learn to cook from Darina Allen known for her style  of "new" Irish cooking as well as  introducing the slow food movement to Ireland.

click here

Holy Saint Patrick that's some cake

Chocolate Guinness Cake with Bailey's Irish Cream Frosting


This sounds like a fabulous cake to make for St. Patrick's Day.
The Hubs does say that Guinness is like the chocolate milk of beers :)

Chocolate Guinness Cake
1 cup butter
1 cup Guinness
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 cups flour
2 cups sugar
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp salt
2 large eggs
2/3 cup sour cream
About 1 cup of Bailey’s to drizzle on top of the cooked cake.

Bailey’s Cream Cheese Frosting
8 ounces room temperature cream cheese
2 to 2 1/2 cups powdered sugar
5-6 Tbsp Bailey’s Irish Cream

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Melt the butter then, mix in the Guinness and cocoa powder.  Set aside and give it some time to cool down.

Mix the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt in a large bowl and set aside.  In a third bowl, mix the eggs and sour cream.

Slowly mix the Guinness mixture into the egg mixture, being sure the Guinness mixture is cool so the eggs won’t curdle.  Then, add the dry ingredients.  Stir until just combined.

Pour the batter into a well buttered spring form pan.  Bake at 350 degrees for 45-50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.  Cool for at least 20 minutes, remove from the pan and place on a cake plate.  Poke holes all over the top of the cake with a fork.  Slowly spoon 1 cup of Bailey’s over the cake.

Next, make the frosting by creaming the cream cheese and confectioners sugar.  Add the Bailey’s a little at a time until you reach your desired consistency. Frost your cake.

I can't believe I watched the whole thing

Happy Birthday to Lauren Graham.

From interviews I have seen she seems to be a bit of a flake.  But, she stared in one of my favorite TV shows, Gilmore Girls. 

 Gilmore Girls has the distinction of being a television show of which I have seen every episode. (Is that  grammatically correct? It seemed better then television show I've seen every episode of) Anyway.....

Other shows I have seen every episode -

Arrested Development*

Veronica Mars

Firefly*

Beverly Hills 90210 (don't judge) 

Lost

Six Feet Under

Life on Mars* (US version)

Dead Like Me*

Tru Blood

United States of Tara

New Amsterdam*

Party Down*

Modern Family

*One of the reasons I have watched every episode is because these show were canceled before they should have been

Poem of the Day

True Love

by Judith Viorst

It is true love because I put on eyeliner and a concerto and make pungent observations about the great issues of the day Even when there's no one here but him, And because I do not resent watching the Green Bay Packer Even though I am philosophically opposed to football, And because When he is late for dinner and I know he must be either having an affair or lying dead in the middle of the street, I always hope he's dead. It's true love because If he said quit drinking martinis but I kept drinking them and the next morning I couldn't get out of bed, He wouldn't tell me he told me, And because He is willing to wear unironed undershorts Out of respect for the fact that I am philosophically opposed to ironing, And because If his mother was drowning and I was drowning and he had to choose one of us to save, He says he'd save me. It's true love because When he went to San Francisco on business while I had to stay home with the painters and the exterminator and the baby who was getting the chicken pox, He understood why I hated him, And because When I said that playing the stock market was juvenile and irresponsible and then the stock I wouldn't let him buy went up twenty-six points, I understood why he hated me, And because Despite cigarette cough, tooth decay, acid indigestion, dandruff, and other features of married life that tend to dampen the fires of passion, We still feel something We can call True love.

I brought you into this world and I can take you out

Have any of you been subjected to an awful TV show called "Dino Dan"?  Unfortunately I have.  A few times I have not turned off the totally rad music fest that is "Yo Gabba Gabba" before  "Dino Dan" starts and seen a few minutes of one of the most awful kids on TV. 

Dan is an annoying 7ish year old kid and wanna be paleontologist.  Dan sees Dinosaurs roaming around his town and has to go investigate them.  The show includes very neat CGI dinosaurs.  Now, I have no problem with the premise of the show. I love that Dan has a terrific imagination.  I love that the show probably teaches kids about Dinosaurs.  

What I don't love is Dan that is a whiny know it all. Often he seems like he would rather hunt figments of his imagination then play with his friends.  Also he treats his friends like they are so stupid they don't know a dinosaur from a dog.  And worse, my major pet peeve, Dino Dan's mother seems to be a major idiot.  So stupid maybe she shouldn't be allowed to have children.  Here is a sample of the type of interaction Dino Dan has with his mother -

While looking at a book together

"What kind of Dinosaur is that Dan?"

"A triceratops mom"

"A tribearaclops?"

"No mom, a tri-cer-a-tops"

"Oh, that's a nice tremarrytops Dan"

"Triceratops Mom"

"Yes Dan, A Tripaclaws"

And on and on.  How dumb can one 35 year old woman be.  I know I learned about dinosaurs in school, didn't she?  And the flipin triceratops is one of the most popular of all dinosaurs.  It's not like snotty Dan was talking about some lesser know dino like the Kentrosaurus.  Gee Whiz Lady, Read a Book!!

Dino Dan is just the tip of the iceberg of TV shows were the children are snotty, rude, eye rolling know it alls.  Or they are whiny, pleading, crybabies.  And the parents stand for it.  TV shows seem to think it is okay for adults to be treated disrespectfully, like they are idiotic Neanderthals only there to give there children money, serve them lunch and drive them to the mall.  Ugggg!  I will say Disney Chanel is the worst.  I think they hire actors strictly on there ability to be extra sassy and prefect the sarcastic eye roll"  As a parent I can say that I have never been  told to "Talk to the Hand" and if I was the hand and the rest of the boy it was attached to would be dent to his room.  And the hand would not be playing DS or Computer games for a couple days. 

I also don't care to subject my kids to "Caillou"  Caillou is a bald headed 4 year old who either whines or baby talks.  Somebody needs to tell that kid to put on his big boy pants and speak like a 4 year old.  My 2 year old sounds older then Caillou.

Don't get me started on Barney.  Most people think  it is the purple Dinosaur that Barney haters object to.  I could care less about Barney.  It's the know it all kids I can't stand.  It's the same reason I didn't like "Mr. Wizard" when I was a kid.  Listen brainiac if you are so smart why are you on Mr. Wizard in the first place?  If you don't want to learn any science from him, go home.  I want to know why the experiment works from the expert not some half cocked hypothesis from some wanna be Issac Newton   Shut Up!

So many other shows I could name but I won't because my own little angle is about to try to feed ground coffee to the fish. 

Gotta wrap this up  with one last plea - TV parents please grow a spine, don't let your children walk all over you, teach those little punks some manners and respect.  And for God sake Read a Book! 

Didja hear, Dinner Time!

A Musical Meal

Bands and Musicians with food names that would make a lovely dinner

Ice T

Soup Dragons

Bread

Ambrosia

Black Eyed  Peas

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Korn

Salt - n- Pepper

Meatloaf

Hot Chocolate

 Cake

Yes there are plenty other bands I could add, Taco,Cranberries, Peaches and Herb, Moby Grape, Squirrel Nut Zippers, The Flying Burrito Brothers etc. etc. but we are talking one meal here people.  I am not a cow, I only have one stomach.

I also left out things I don't care to eat - Moldy Peaches, Blue Oyster Cult, Captain Beefheart............Yuck!

Your Toast!

This is what happens when Tenacious Toddler empties my wallet, takes my driver's license and sticks it in the toaster.  

Three weeks later - 

Happy Birthday Smarty Pants

Some Groovy Quotes from a Groovy Dude - 

"A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new."

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves."

"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions."

"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed."

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

"The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination."

Factoid - Actor Albert Brooks' real name is Albert Einstein.  But I'll bet the Birthday Boy never did flop sweat as well as Brooks

Happy Pi Day

Awesome Pi Pie made by my SIL Martha

Help Japan

Click Here

Music to Mop to

I'm cleaning the kitchen with the Ryan Adams station on Pandora today.

Ryan Adams, Ray La Montagne, Death Cab for Cutie, Wilco

 Should be a new Ktel record -Mellow Gold

What is my problem?

When I read the headline

"Giffords to attend Shuttle Launch" 

I thought to myself, Why is Frank and Kathie Lee Gifford going to see the shuttle launch big news?

Duh!!

and speaking of space

I think I'm gearing up for a big rant about not putting any money into space while we continue to put billions into War.  Tune in later 

On a serious note

My heart goes out to the people of Japan

Get it over with already

Dear William and Kate,

Please get married already so I don't have to hear about you two anymore.  You see, I live in America.  We don't have real royalty so people seem to give two shits about you.  I however don't.

The only Queen I want to hear about is the Queen of Soul.  Born and raised in the good old U.S.A.  And her hat is way better then yours Katie, so suck it!

R-E-S-R-E-C-T

"If I'm drunk I'm a jerk, If I'm sober I'm a douche"

Shut Up, Shut Up, Shut Up!!!

Hold this sledgehammer while I run and get my watermelon

I don't know what I find more surprising and sad 

a) to read that  "comedian" Gallagher  collapsed on stage while preforming last night

or 

b) that Gallagher is still preforming and still alive for that matter 

Also, anyone else ever get him mixed up with  now dead "It's Magic, Illusion" magician Doug Henning

Last, is it just me or when you picture Doug Henning (you can admit it, you are picturing him right now) do you picture him in Mork-like suspenders.  I swear he wore them although I can't find a picture on-line to prove it.

Update - Based on Kat's comment I wonder if maybe it is not suspenders I am thinking of but overalls, sparkly unicorn overalls. Stay classy Winnipeg.

It's all Relative

Wish I was related to 

Uncle Ben (wild rice is oh so nice)

Uncle Fester (Adams Family)

Aunt Bee (Andy Griffith)

Auntie Em and Uncle Henry (Wizard of Oz) 

Uncle Buck (Uncle Buck, you know Moley Russell's wart)

Uncle Charley (My 3 sons, although I am more partial to Bub)

Aunt Jemima (Pancakes Baby!)

Uncle Owen and Aunt Bru (Star Wars)

Cousin It (Adams Family) 

Uncle Jed (the poor mountaineer who kept his family fed) 

Uncle Wiggley (was always happy to help him get to the Dr. for his rheumatiz) 

Glad I am not related to

Uncle Cracker (Craptastic singer) 

Uncle Miltie (Just guessing but prob. a giant Douche in real life) 

Aunt Edna and Cousin Eddie (Vacation movies) 

Uncle June (Junior from the Sopranos) 

Auntie  Anne (worst soft pretzels ever) 

Aunts Selma and Patty (Simpsons) 

Aunt Ester (Sanford and Son) 

Cousin Oliver (Crummy addition to the Brady Bunch big reason the show jumped the shark) 

Keep on Cussing in the Free World

Swearin' Songs

1. Come Pick Me Up - Ryan Adams

2. Rockin' the Suburbs - Ben Folds

3. Kitty - Presidents of the United States

4. You're breaking My Heart - Harry Nilsson

5. Toes - Zac Brown

6. Middle of the Road - The Pretenders

7. Untouchable Face - Ani Difranco

8. Closer - Nine Inch Nails

9. Add it Up - Violent Femmes

10. You Oughta Know  - Alanis Morissette

11. My Shit's Fucked Up - Warren Zevon

And No List would be complete without

12. Fuck You - Cee Lo Green

And for your listening and comedy enjoyment click this link -  a little Jay and Silent Bob to top off this post 

Jay and Silent Bob

Bleeping Artist of the Bleeping Day - Part 1 #@$*

Today's Artist is not really an Artist but more of  an Art form

The Art of Cursing 

Cursing, Swearing, Cussing, Profanity, malediction,Dirty Words, Four-Letter Words - Whatever you call it, I am good at it

Lenny Bruce was arrested for saying his alphabetical list of 9 dirty words on stage.  Later George Carlin took 7 of those words and turned them into the Seven Words You can Never say on Television. (If you don't know what words I am talking about Wikipedia it Mother Fucker.)

Growing up I sometimes heard my parents swear.  If my Father was cursing you knew it was serious.  My mother swore more regularly but I don't ever remember thinking to myself "Ooo, Mom said a Bad word"  More then swearing my mother liked to give the finger.  Thinking back I can hear her swear in my mind but can not think of situation why.  Buy boy can I remember her flipping the bird.  Most often in traffic at crazy bad drivers.  I really had no clue what the finger meant.  However I do remember my mom sticking her hand out the car window and flipping off some guy in a truck.  As both vehicilces stoped at the next red  light he looked over and was seemed a little surprised to see my pretty mommy attached to that hand.  It was the first time I realized the effect the finger had.  As I got older I practiced giving the finger until I had my own style down pat. But rarely do I use it.  I'm much more verbal

It really wasn't until I was in High School, maybe 10th grade (could have been 9th but more likely 10th) that really started to swear regularly.  My favorite word was and still is Fuck.  4 little letters that mean so much.  And Fucker is under used.  When I was a senior in high school some friends and talked about how Fucker was under used so just started calling other Fucker when ever we met in the Hallway.  "Hey Fucker, nice sweater"  The older I got the more sailorish I became.   Although I could my control myself esp. around parents and other elders. 

As I parent myself I have learned a few things.  1. The less often you swear the more impact it has when you do. 2. How to come up with  other words to stand in for curse words.  

When my first son was born I become very conscious of my potty talked and really curbed it.  That was all well and good until the last couple of years. I went though some major baby blues and  I came back full swing. But, most of the time I was mumbling under my breath so I didn't think it counted.  But if you have ever heard a 22 month old udder "Oh Fuck sake"  you know it matters.  "Where did he learn that from" I asked the Hubs. "You" he said "Me?" I questioned  "Yes you" he told me "You mumble under your breath"  "It's true Mom" said my first born "you mumble shit a lot too" Nice!  

So that is why I have made up curse words.  Surprisingly they come pretty naturally and I use them less then the real words.  baby stepping, I'm baby stepping. I'm doing the work

Some of my favorite made up swears - 

Mother of Pearl

Fudge

Fudge Knuckle

Fudge McGee

Shozbot

Sugar Booger

Freakin'

Frakin' (Battlestar)

Oh barnacles  (Spongebob)

Fudruckers

Good Gravy

Good Gravy Baby

Holy Crow (Uncle Scott) 

Well Shit I'm running out steam.  Part 2 tomorrow Fuckers. 

It's yo birthday, we gon' party like it's yo birthday...

Happy Birthday Shout Outs - 


He didn't just phone it in - Alexander Graham Bell - From Mr Watson, come in here, I want to see you to Can you hear me now?  Thanks for a great invention.  You would be amazed how far the phone has come or you might be rolling over in your grave.  Although I've heard you were buried in a telephone booth.  But maybe that is just a nasty rumor started by Elisha Gray.  Hey Elisha - Bitter Much?
Also, Mr. Bell should be remember for all his research in the fields of hearing and speech.  Not to mention his work in aeronautics. 


Beeming up some Birthday Wishes to James Doohan, Scotty from Star Trek.  "I can't take any more cake captain, If I push in any more I'll explode"


Drinkin' some Funky Cold Medina for Tone Loc's Birthday


Julie Bowan plays one of my favorite TV moms Claire Dunfey on Modern Family, a great great TV show. 


Oh Tyler Florence - What's Cookin' Good Lookin?  A staple in The Food Network pantry of celebrity chefs you can teach me how to boil water anytime. 

Miss me?

I'm back Bitches!

So I've haven't written anything in a couple weeks.  I started Spring Cleaning a little early.  I have been cleaning and organizing and purging.  Donating to Charity, Freecyling and Throwing Away.  Ahhh, it feels so good to get rid of stuff that we don't want or need.  I even was able to talk the boys into parting with some stuffed animals.  

Also gearing up for new carpet and paint.  Been going though lots of paint samples.  For the main Floor LR/DR I want something that is neutral but not plain old beige or white.  Thinking "New Neutral"  maybe an earthy green.  Also want to give some pizazz to the Kitchen.  Thinking Bright.  The downside is we have oak cabinets and stair railings.  We are not planning on changing those anytime soon so I have to find something to complement to yellowy oak.  Too bad I am so drawn to cool colors, the oak really calls for a warm color pallet.  Oh well, I'll get my cool calm in the master Bedroom.  Thinking grey and teal.  Most of all I am looking forward to new carpet.  The carpet we have now has to go! It can only be steam cleaned so many times.  We talked about hardwood but it all came down to economics.  Carpet is cheaper and in the current economy hardwood doesn't do much for resale value like it once did.  So, since this is not our "forever house" carpet it is.