Artist of the Day - Happy Birthday Meat!

Happy 64th Birthday to today's Artist of the Day Meat Loaf

Yes you got me I probably would  not have picked him as AotD if it was not his Birthday. Still he did preform the best song ever about getting it on in the backseat, lying about love and regretting the whole thing. 

Paradise by the Dashboard Light

And he has also shown his acting chops (no pork chops, meatloaf).  What Fanboy can forget Eddie in cult classic "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"?  I mean no one can ride a motorcycle thru brick like Meat.

Of course my favorite Meat vehicle (No not the Oscar Myer Wienermobile) is Fight Club.  Meat was Bob aka Bitch Tits.  Oh, I'm sorry "His Name is Robert Paulson" 

Thanks to Wikipedia I learned Meat is a Republican.  I won't hold it against him.  He seems like a good guy to have a drink with.  Oh wait, that is what people said about ole "W" when he was elected.  Okay we can't have a drink Maybe we can do some fru fru artsy fartsy Left Wing thing.  :)

Happy Birthday Meatloaf aka Michael Lee Aday born Marvin Lee Aday.  Keep on Rockin'!!

Bullshit probably made up by some skinny bitch

I just read some "inspiration" on some getting fit web site.  It's the biggest piece of crap I've heard, without the involvement of Fox news, in a long time.

"If you eat what you've always eaten, you will weigh the same as you've always weighed"

Hold on a second - Bwaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahah!

Okay now that we are done laughing,  let me rebut 

Back when I was a senior in high school I was 17, 5 foot 3 1/2 and weighed 100-105 lbs depending on the week.  Now can you guess which of those things has not changed?  Ding Ding Ding, give that girl a case of turtle wax, Yes I am still 5 foot 3 1/2 but I am 20 years older and many pounds heavier.  And the kicker, for the most part I eat much healthier then I did years ago.  

Back in the early 90s I really don't remember eating.  Food was, as it should be, sustenance.  Unless it was a holiday or a special date out I really didn't think much about what I was putting in my mouth (Kathleen hold that comment  ;o  ) Here is what I remember as a typical day - 

Breakfast - Cereal or Instant Oatmeal

Lunch - Soft pretzel w/mustard and a Coke (pure goodness not diet)  Often I would add, some  pickles from the school salad bar (of course I didn't eat the salad - duh!) and/or a pack of cupcakes

After school snack - I was a busy girl and would often eat a lot of junk from vending machines or 7-11.  So I am guessing Doritos and M&Ms and more Coke or Mt. Dew would be a typical day

Dinner - ??? This is the part I do not remember.  I know my parents cooked and sometimes I cooked for the family.  Let's say I ate chicken, wild rice and green beans.  Pro. drank milk or juice or yes, more soda

Snack/Dessert - Always dessert in my house.  Candy bars or cookies or brownies.  Something with more sugar and bad carbs. 

Quick note - I was 17 while I was eating this crap, my parents really had little to do with my eating habits at this point.  I know as a younger child I always ate more fruit and veggies.

Let us compare a typical day from years ago to a typical day now

Breakfast - Cereal or Oatmeal and coffee (nectar or the gods) 

snack - handful of nuts, fruit or nothing 

Lunch- Whatever my kids are eating typically - Today it's chicken noodle soup, grapes and bell pepper strips.  I added in a few extra cucumbers for me.  Water (also a lot more water through the day, maybe not 8 cups but 5 or 6) 

Snack - ??? Something, hopefuly not total crap, granola bar, yogurt ?? I admit to eating while I make dinner, popping carrots and I chop.  And coffee to get me thru the 4pm energy slump.

Dinner - Pork Chop, roasted broccoli, salad  Water or Diet Soda or some other low cal drink

After my kids are in bed a little dark chocolate and.or a glass of wine (more then a glass on weekends) 

This is not to say I don't give into cravings because I do.  I loves me a donut.  Just not every day. And come on I get vegetables and drink water for goodness sake. 

So what has changed?  I guess it is possible that I consume more calories now.  But with all the empty calories I used to consume I don't know.  I would also say I  excersise about the same amount.

I think it all comes down to Age, metabolism and Babies.  With each kid I gained a fuckton of weight and held onto a few pounds each time.  Now I  really do not mean to get into my weight loss woes of the past 2 + years that is for another post but I will say after my 3rd son was born the fat really hit the fan.  I can't seem to loss much weight no matter what.  I could eat celery all day long or I could eat cake all day long, it really doesn't matter.  And the more kids I have had the less time I have for myself to think only about myself.   I think I have to move even more as my metabolism is shot. Then again people think that metabolism theory is crap too.  Maybe it's genetic.  Maybe I am fated to be a pear like great great aunt Buela.  Who knows?

Like I said my current weigh journey is for another time but for now here is what I do know. To the the idiot who make the comment about eating what ever you've always eating -I think you are full of crap.   If we ever meet I've got a swift kick to your, I'm sure tiny, ass coming for you.  Of course I'll have to catch you  first, and when I do I'll sit on you to be sure you can't get away.

Now get up and dance and jiggle - Big Fat Mamas are back in style

Yet another reason I'm headed for Hell

This makes me laugh out loud

Artist of the Day - Gil Elvgren

As some of you may know or inferred from many of my Facebook profile pics, I love pin-up art.  My favorite's classic pin-up from the 40s-60s and my favorite artist is Gil Elvgren.

The husband and I are redecorating our Master bathroom and Pin-up will play a big part.  Why the bathroom?  Well I am by no means a prude but I do have 3 young books and don't really think my collection should be put on display in popular family areas.  Too many questions.  As they get older I can let my freak flag fly, or show them a little leg. A little T&A when they have seen it up close themselves on a real live woman.

check out some great pin-up galleries hereThe Pin- Up Files

Tattoo You (If you are my father you might not want to read this)

So I have been thinking about getting another tattoo.  But before I can tell you that story, I must tell you this story -

When I was 20 I got myself a tattoo for my birthday.  I have always been fascinated by tattoos.  So many of them are like wearing art on your body, forever.  My father always said "If you get one,don't tell me" so I haven't.  1994 was year full of emotional  turmoil and upheaval in my life. The short story - it sucked.  Hoping for some cheering up I planned to go down to Radford VA to see my BFF (of course in 1994 we just called them best friends) Robin.We would go to a Halloween party and hang out on my Birthday (Nov. 1 -see my amazon wish list) By this point Robin had at least one tattoo of her own.  She told me she would take me to her tat guy and hold my hand.  I thought and thought about what image I wanted to permitly adorn my body with.  I looked at Tattoo magazines, thought of great book quotes, listened to my favorite songs for inspiration.  At some point, my memory is vague here, we are talking about almost 17 years ago people, I decided to go celestial.  I drew a sun and moon shape, liked it and thought - Eureka!  Now if you know me at all you know I am not an artist. In High School art class all my still lifes  looked like a 1st grader drew them.  All my human figures looked liked  droids with chromosomal problems. My point is, this was not the best drawing you've ever seen.  What was I thinking?  Maybe I just wanted something that was created by me.  Truly my tat is cute.  Black ink, sun and moon.  As I look back I realize my hurry was probably  a need for something perminate.  As I said above, bad year.  So of course a tattoo will make it all A-Okay right?

So I have my tattoo.  Many people do not even know I have it because it is not obvious unless I am in a swimsuit or naked.  My kids have seen it.  First with fascination now with indifference.  The truth is at this point I forget it is there most of the time.  It is on my upper thigh and has become part of me.

Now I am thinking about a second tattoo.  A more thought out symbolic tattoo that says something about me. Something that I will enjoy caring around with me for the next 65+ some years (yes I plan to live to at least 101) My birthday is coming up but I really didn't have that in mind.  But now that I think of it, what better time to give myself a gift.

I's a bin thinkin' and thinkin' on it.  Like I said I thought I want symbolism.  I thought about the number 5 for my family.  I thought about an ankh, the Egyptian symbol of life. Sweet bird and  beautiful flowers.  Finally I got it.  Books!  My most favorite thing, that is truly a thing (The best things in life are not things)  A stack of 5 books, the top book representing me, open only 1/2 finished.  I am also thinking of an owl on there someplace.  As well as a few more tiny details on the books.

But speaking of someplace - That is my conundrum now.  Place. Where on my body should I get inked? As I said my first tat is on my thigh. My outside upper thigh, under my hip bone.  It has been a great place as the shape of the tattoo has not changed during all the weight gain and weight loss I have but my body through.  However I don't want bookend tattoos so the other hip is out.  Also I am a pretty private person and this is a gift to my self so I don't want it to be too showy.  So the arm and shoulder are out.  I thought about the inside of my arm starting around my wrist but I have sort arms so I think a tattoo would took huge there.  Same goes for my foot. I think I am left with back and ankle.  Back would have to be upper back (no tramp stamp thanks) And that is were I am faithful readers.  I have the what, still pondering the where.  I don't want to ponder too long. I am ready for this thing.

Hopefully before 2012 I will have something beautiful.  To Be Continued......

Oh Yeeeah!

Dear Warehouse 13

Do you perchance have any Jim Jones artifacts?  

I desperately need one for my children.

No, no I'm talking about making them drink the koolaid, at least not a full glass.

I'm just looking for a little something to make them follow my every whim and command without question.

So, you got anything like that?

Thanks!

This should have a rhyming title but nothing rhymes with haiku

It's been a long time friends.  I guess I took most of the spring and summer off.  More thoughts about that later but first - 


I have named myself the Poet Laureate of Leesburg.  Yes, thank you it is quite an honor.  No, No, please you don't have to call me Dame, that is far too prissy.  Sure, Sure  Poet Chick is cool.  No I don't have a beret, I look like a douche in a beret.  Yes you may snap but please no bongos*.

Anyhoo (generally I would say Anyway but I think Anyhoo sounds more Poet-y.  In fact while Robert Frost was describing Blueberries I understand he said "Anyhoo, they were as big as the end of your thumb"  But  who knows if he really said that I only write poetry I don't read it, but it sounds good )  Like I said Anyhoo, I've been composing Haiku today.  Mommy Haiku.  Here are some that you might have seen on my Facebook wall, plus a few more.  


Now put on your helmets kiddies cuz I just might blow y'alls minds -


Yes I am a Mom

Not all superheroes wear capes

I wear snot and dirt 

What is for dinner?

I don't know. What did you kill?
I'm the gatherer


Do you smell that smell?
No it is not victory
It is your diaper.

I am a Mommy

Hey boys I don't get paid shit

To pick up your shit

Eight is too many
I know three is enough man
Time for the snip snip


What's up with your socks?
Do you sweat dirt or bleed mud?
Where'd I put the bleach?


Michael J was wrong
Wine is not Jesus Juice
It is my best friend 


Thank god you are cute

While you giggle and weave your

Path of destruction

Youtube oh Youtube

My boys can laugh it up yes

Hope they don't type Tits

I had to go pee

I was only gone a sec

We can't have nice things 

Why bother folding

The basket is now your toy ship

Clothes dumped on the floor 

Your sleepy smile 
Makes me think of toddler you
Cozy on my lap


I know we own some

Tape, scissors and batteries

But they're lost AGAIN

You must aim better

The floor is not a toilet

Now flush, wash and go

Get off the counter

If you must spend time up there 

Learn to make coffee

The sign says Forty

Yes I am going Fifty

Who taught you to read?

* Alas Bongos are out, Matthew Mcconaughey ruined them for the rest of us