This should have a rhyming title but nothing rhymes with haiku

It's been a long time friends.  I guess I took most of the spring and summer off.  More thoughts about that later but first - 


I have named myself the Poet Laureate of Leesburg.  Yes, thank you it is quite an honor.  No, No, please you don't have to call me Dame, that is far too prissy.  Sure, Sure  Poet Chick is cool.  No I don't have a beret, I look like a douche in a beret.  Yes you may snap but please no bongos*.

Anyhoo (generally I would say Anyway but I think Anyhoo sounds more Poet-y.  In fact while Robert Frost was describing Blueberries I understand he said "Anyhoo, they were as big as the end of your thumb"  But  who knows if he really said that I only write poetry I don't read it, but it sounds good )  Like I said Anyhoo, I've been composing Haiku today.  Mommy Haiku.  Here are some that you might have seen on my Facebook wall, plus a few more.  


Now put on your helmets kiddies cuz I just might blow y'alls minds -


Yes I am a Mom

Not all superheroes wear capes

I wear snot and dirt 

What is for dinner?

I don't know. What did you kill?
I'm the gatherer


Do you smell that smell?
No it is not victory
It is your diaper.

I am a Mommy

Hey boys I don't get paid shit

To pick up your shit

Eight is too many
I know three is enough man
Time for the snip snip


What's up with your socks?
Do you sweat dirt or bleed mud?
Where'd I put the bleach?


Michael J was wrong
Wine is not Jesus Juice
It is my best friend 


Thank god you are cute

While you giggle and weave your

Path of destruction

Youtube oh Youtube

My boys can laugh it up yes

Hope they don't type Tits

I had to go pee

I was only gone a sec

We can't have nice things 

Why bother folding

The basket is now your toy ship

Clothes dumped on the floor 

Your sleepy smile 
Makes me think of toddler you
Cozy on my lap


I know we own some

Tape, scissors and batteries

But they're lost AGAIN

You must aim better

The floor is not a toilet

Now flush, wash and go

Get off the counter

If you must spend time up there 

Learn to make coffee

The sign says Forty

Yes I am going Fifty

Who taught you to read?

* Alas Bongos are out, Matthew Mcconaughey ruined them for the rest of us