Maybe a couple shades of grey, definitely not fifty

Unless you've been in outer Mongolia living in a yurt, or you are a man, I am guessing you have heard about the 50 Shades of Grey books by E L James.

50 Shades of Grey started out as Twilight Fan Fiction and then some how, (I think E L James might have used magic) got published with the names changed and vampires removed.

If you know me you know I do not care for the Twilight series.  I have only read the first book but I could not stand Bella Swan and spent at least 400 pages begging her to grow a pair.

The real reason that 50 shades has become a hit is because it is being marketed as erotica and "mommy porn"  The basic plot line is  young naive soon to be college grad Anastasia meets a very wealthy business man Christian Grey.  Together they enter into a contractual relationship where Anastasia agrees to be Grey's submissive.

First the Bad. (And I mean Bad in the true sense, not bad in a erotic, you are a bad, bad, naughty girl kind of way)

I have read much better erotica.  Sexy time with Ana and Mr. Grey seemed good but then the bad writing ruined it for me a little bit.

The reader is supposed to believe that this girl is 22, still a virgin, has never masturbated but she is going to jump right into a little BDSM?   Grey agrees to help break her in with a little "vanilla sex" and then admits to never having "vanilla sex" himself,  as he was dominated by a sexy cougar all through his teen years.  So it was straight out flogging and boot licking for him.  Maybe having a 5 minute missionary style quickie could be a fun change of pace.

Ana (Anastasia is shortened to Ana.  I think it is cause James got sick of typing all those letters.  Next time name the chick Flo)  is so taken by Grey she agrees to try being his submissive and hilarity ensues  Okay not really, some hot sex and some uncomfortable sex ensues.

Shit that really bothered me about the this book -

Bad Writing

Repetition - How many freakin' time is she going to bite her lip, blush, flush and roll her eyes.

Ana cannot say pussy, vagina or even twat.  She calls it "down there" Really!? "Down there"  Not sexy.

Once again the woman thinks she can change the man just by loving him - Uggg

The book is set in America but the British writer brings Britishisms English into the book.  Rucksack.

The cliffhanger ending.  Now am I going to keep reading the rest of the trilogy?


The Good -

Mainstream Erotica is a good thing.  It is about time.  Yes parts of this books were totally ridiculous but anything that helps a woman feel more sexual I am all for.  If this book makes the average woman want to jump her husband a bit more frequently then Huzzah!

While the writing wasn't that great the story was pretty good.  I was interested in Ana and her life.

Who doesn't love the fantasy of love at first site  romance?

Who wouldn't want to be whisked away to dinner via helicopter?

Who doesn't want a strange sketchy dude buying her new panties and dresses? Well then again....

I think for the most part this showed a BDSM relationship in a pretty healthy light.  He told her what he wanted and expected.  There was even a legal contract (although my lawyer friend tells me the contract writing was crap) She was able to say no thanks and leave if she wished. For couples who participate in Dominate/Submissive roles trust is Big.  Safe consensual sex is good sex no matter how kinky it gets.

I think one of the big reasons women like this book is that in many ways being a submissive is break from their daily lives were they are in charge of so much.  Even if not in a typical BDSM way many woman likes a man who in in charge in the bedroom. A dominant man in the bedroom does not have to be a misogynist.

So 3 1/2 stars for 50 Shades part 1.  I might even read the next two books because I am curious about Ana. But I am in no rush.  Still, much better than Twilight.

Last thought of the night.  I really wish I had started a business selling neck ties about 6 months ago. Cause for sure grey ties are flying off the shelves right now.  I could be rich.


Sexy Fan Fiction I would read -

Harry Potter (post Hogwarts, I am not a total sicko)
Firefly
Mad Men

Sexy Fan Fiction big No Thanks -

Lady Gaga in a meat dress with Lady Gaga as her male counterpart Joe
American Girl Dolls all Grown Up
Anything with Ann Coulter