Bleeping Artist of the Bleeping Day - Part 1 #@$*

Today's Artist is not really an Artist but more of  an Art form

The Art of Cursing 

Cursing, Swearing, Cussing, Profanity, malediction,Dirty Words, Four-Letter Words - Whatever you call it, I am good at it

Lenny Bruce was arrested for saying his alphabetical list of 9 dirty words on stage.  Later George Carlin took 7 of those words and turned them into the Seven Words You can Never say on Television. (If you don't know what words I am talking about Wikipedia it Mother Fucker.)

Growing up I sometimes heard my parents swear.  If my Father was cursing you knew it was serious.  My mother swore more regularly but I don't ever remember thinking to myself "Ooo, Mom said a Bad word"  More then swearing my mother liked to give the finger.  Thinking back I can hear her swear in my mind but can not think of situation why.  Buy boy can I remember her flipping the bird.  Most often in traffic at crazy bad drivers.  I really had no clue what the finger meant.  However I do remember my mom sticking her hand out the car window and flipping off some guy in a truck.  As both vehicilces stoped at the next red  light he looked over and was seemed a little surprised to see my pretty mommy attached to that hand.  It was the first time I realized the effect the finger had.  As I got older I practiced giving the finger until I had my own style down pat. But rarely do I use it.  I'm much more verbal

It really wasn't until I was in High School, maybe 10th grade (could have been 9th but more likely 10th) that really started to swear regularly.  My favorite word was and still is Fuck.  4 little letters that mean so much.  And Fucker is under used.  When I was a senior in high school some friends and talked about how Fucker was under used so just started calling other Fucker when ever we met in the Hallway.  "Hey Fucker, nice sweater"  The older I got the more sailorish I became.   Although I could my control myself esp. around parents and other elders. 

As I parent myself I have learned a few things.  1. The less often you swear the more impact it has when you do. 2. How to come up with  other words to stand in for curse words.  

When my first son was born I become very conscious of my potty talked and really curbed it.  That was all well and good until the last couple of years. I went though some major baby blues and  I came back full swing. But, most of the time I was mumbling under my breath so I didn't think it counted.  But if you have ever heard a 22 month old udder "Oh Fuck sake"  you know it matters.  "Where did he learn that from" I asked the Hubs. "You" he said "Me?" I questioned  "Yes you" he told me "You mumble under your breath"  "It's true Mom" said my first born "you mumble shit a lot too" Nice!  

So that is why I have made up curse words.  Surprisingly they come pretty naturally and I use them less then the real words.  baby stepping, I'm baby stepping. I'm doing the work

Some of my favorite made up swears - 

Mother of Pearl

Fudge

Fudge Knuckle

Fudge McGee

Shozbot

Sugar Booger

Freakin'

Frakin' (Battlestar)

Oh barnacles  (Spongebob)

Fudruckers

Good Gravy

Good Gravy Baby

Holy Crow (Uncle Scott) 

Well Shit I'm running out steam.  Part 2 tomorrow Fuckers.