I love you but I must unfriend you. My love for you has spanned my adulthood. From Julios empanadas while trolling Adams Morgan at 1am to Taco Bell at, well, 1am. From standing around a smokey grill to relaxing on a sofa full of pillows enjoying layered chicken pie while powdered sugar falls on my lap. There is a United Nations of goodness that dwells inside me. Mexico, India, Thailand, Morocco, Lebanon, France, Ethiopia (okay not so much) I've gone around the world using a menu instead of an airline ticket.
I wasn't always this way. As a child I really don't remember eating. Other then a holiday or favorite dish or the rare treat of eating at a restaurant food doesn't really factor into my memory the way say climbing trees or running through the sprinkler or doing crafts with my brownie troop does. I know I was feed breakfast, lunch and dinner but it could have been a Jetson's like food pill and I would have been just as happy.
As a teen I ate breakfast and most dinners at home. Other then that I ate crap. Lunch was a soft pretzel with mustard and soda. Sometime I would eat off the salad bar, often I would eat hostess cupcakes. After school activities were filled with more junk, chips, Coke, M-n-Ms. How did I stay 104 pounds I don't know. I had one hell of a metabolism.
As a young adult living out on my own with roommates I don't remember eating either. What did I live on? Soup??
It was only when Jim and I because DINKs (Duel Income No Kids) did my Love of food and drink emerge. We had some disposable income and we ate out, a lot. It was then when I really started to expand my food horizons. Plus I learned to enjoy a cocktail or a glass of wine, or two, or three (don't worry wine I won't give you up totally). Food was fun, an event.
Of course after each child I put on more and more weight but still kept eating. With kids in the house there is always so much temptation. I must summon all my willpower and buy only kid snacks that I don't like.
Food you have to go back to being only a source of nutrients. Our relationship has to be purely platonic, the physical love must end now! All the joy you bring is temporary.
On my last Birthday I made a goal for myself to lose one pound for every year of my age before my next Birthday. My birthday was over 3 months ago and I have only lost 3 pounds. Somethings gotta change and that change is my relationship with food. My new mantra is food is not fun, food is not my friend
Food is not exciting or fun. Food does not really make me feel better when I am depressed I feel better momentarily then feel guilty that I consumed all that cake, or chips, or bread and butter. Ugggg. It is going to be hard but I have to get tough. I could lie and say it is for my health but really I'm just sick of being fat. I want to look hot in clothes again. I will trade my junk food budget for a whole new wardrobe.
So farewell ex friend, it's been fun. Maybe we can meet once in awhile for old time sake when I am 37 and Fabulous.
Emily
No comments:
Post a Comment